Is Violence Necessary?

 I was five years old when I saw my dad hitting my mom. Until then, I never saw someone hitting. I didn't know why people hit each other. 

How do we learn behaviors? Psychology has several learning theories that explain how we learn behaviors. Social referencing is a psychological process where we learn by looking at each others or referring to others' behavior or response. Bandura's social learning theory also relates that we learn by observing others. 

I saw my dad uses violence to express dissatisfaction and anger. He hits my mom when he is upset or when things don't go according to him. As a child, I learned that violence is a way to deal with problems. I saw that my mom stays silent and tolerates. I learned that women are meant to be oppressed and do not have a right to respond or use the violence how men in families do.

How do we learn if we have to harm others if we don't feel right? We see it in our homes, schools, parks, public places and in today's times even social media. 
Who tells us how to respond? Children learn these responses through social referencing.

If every parent abandons violence at home, no child will ever learn it. An infant learns everything at home and it is very important for parents to be mindful of their actions. Young children should never be exposed to social media.

Men learn that anger should be released by hitting or hurting others. Women learn that we should tolerate or endure the pain a man gives and the cycle continues. It turns to a trauma for many.

Is violence really necessary to release anger? Do men really have to target innocent women to release their anger? The answer is no! Anger is normal. Anger is natural. Anger is an emotion. Yes, it requires a platform to be released. But, it does not mean it has to be released by hurting someone. It does not mean, women have to suffer.

If you are a man reading this, never use your masculine power in hurting someone physically/emotionally. If you are a women reading this, never tolerate the disrespect and harm you don't deserve. You can call at women helpline (181). If you are a child who witnesses this, do not accept/learn/normalize violence as a response to unease. You can call at child helpline (1098).